gosh this feeling is getting way out of hand. it's come to this point when even the slightest glimpse of you is enough to make me smile inside and my heart flutter. i really never intended it to be this big. i never thought that i would want it to evolve into something more. but in this miserable and lonely life of mine, i've been wondering. wondering if the risk is worth even taking at all. but past experiences tell me that i would be a fool to take the risk. a fool to get my hopes up and watch them fall right in front of me. maybe i should just ignore this and let it fade with time. maybe it's just a silly phase i'm going through. urgh but that's just the little voice in my head trying to convince this stubborn heart of mine. truth is, my heart wants to scream it all out. not knowing is always much worse than to know right. if i'm always scared, i'll lose you anyway right. right?