Posted on: Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Posted at: 10:17:00 pm
today, lessons resumed as per normal. boos. ): and i totally felt like a zombie the whole day. the reason? i stayed up till 3+ in the morning just to finish what stupid homework i have left from march holidays and to study for stupid econs test. which btw, i think i will flunk really badly. cuz i was practically blank when i read the qns. haish. I HATE SCHOOL LAHH!

good thing i didnt have dance practice today. should have spent the afternoon studying or doing something productive but i slept for like 3h. haha. that's longer than the sleep i had at night. so now, i just finished watching another episode of Heroes (season 2). hee. i like! and i will be a good girl and read my history after this :D

my current state of mind is a mess. i really need to refocus myself on more important things like studies and dance. i shouldn't waste my time moping around because of the fact that i just lost you. but then again, you can't lose something you never had.

ok. i actually have nothing to blog about. and this entry is extremely boring i know. so yea, you can wake up now. haha.


There are two tragedies in this life:
one is to lose your heart's desire
the other is to gain it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Posted on: Sunday, March 23, 2008
Posted at: 8:38:00 pm
I FEEL LIKE CRAP.

as if that's gonna make me feel better. pfft. yeah right. at this point of time, i don't think anything or anyone can make me feel better. i feel so stupid. so utterly foolish. why? cuz i stupidly waited for you. for you to come back. but i just found out that that's never gonna happen. cuz you're back with her and you're happy. i thought it was over between the two of you. i thought we'd stand a chance again. boy, i thought wrong.

when i broke up with you last year, i didn't mean it. i didn't even try to let go. it was so hard for me to tell you that we needed time apart. i didn't want it. but you left me no choice. back then, you changed. and i can tell that your heart just wasn't into us anymore. you weren't into me anymore. and i know it was because of her. so, i let you go, thinking that you'd realise how much i need you. and you'd come back. and months later, i'm still waiting.

and now, i'm just growing sick of waiting. i'm sick of lying to myself. i'm sick of hoping and wishing. i'm sick of crying. i'm just so fucking sick of you. so, i'm going to let you go this time. i'm going to walk away. i'm going to open my heart to others. you don't own my heart anymore. and though i really believed in us, i don't think we're meant to be. you were my friend. my very best friend. i've known you for so long. and you're still my friend. and though we don't treat each other like the way we used to and though we've grown so far apart, i want to believe that you still care for me - as a friend. cuz if i can't have you as a lover, i want to have you as a friend. the friend that i once knew. the friend that i loved so dearly. and maybe just maybe, if you want to come back to me someday, you know i'll always be here for you. but for now, i'll just hang on to the memories.



if you're lucky,
i mean if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet,
the person you love decides to love you back.
- James Lafferty as Nathan Scott (OTH)

Posted on: Friday, March 21, 2008
Posted at: 10:25:00 pm
hey peeps. been some time since i last updated. this week has been really eventful because of well, enrichment week lah. haha. no studies, just enjoying myself - at least most of the time :D

on mon, we had the release of project tasks first thing in the morning. urg. im so not looking forward to project work lah. anyway, after that, had first aid (cpr) course in the afternoon. and i found out that i was the only jc1 there, the rest were ip3s. luckily, there was kristy or i would be all alone. hehe. the course was utter crap lah. i mean it was damn easy to pass the so-called theory and practical assesments. for the theory, the instr allowed us to do it 'open-book' style. like wth lah. and for practical, we didn't even have to do the rescue blows. we just had to go near the mouth and blow. and he didn't even correct us if our positions were wrong. some of the guys were practically breaking the dummies when doing the compressions. and all of us are going to get a 2-year certification! when i learnt cpr during st john, it was waaaay harder and more strict. but who's complaining? i think i deserve the certification lah. haha. it was a breeze for me. and i learnt that the survival rate if you go unconscious in US is 46% and in Singapore it's like only 2.7%. hahaha. so there's like a 98% chance you'll die lah. wth.

on tuesday, had arts appreciation thingy. watched this drama on racial harmony. quite lame actually but entertaining i guess. after that, went to starbucks. i like! hehe. firstly, cuz i absoultely loooveee starbucks and secondly, you-know-who also went along. and i managed to steal his no from the list. and he said hi to me!! hehe. i know, i know, i'm seriously obsessed. anyway, we went to the starbucks outlet at the cathay. first thing we did was coffee-tasting. we had to drink black coffee, without sugar or creamer. bleurgh. fucking bitter lah. but it tasted much better when we drank it with chocolate muffin. quite cool. after that, we learnt about starbucks and their vision and mission and all that stuff. quite interesting actually. don't mind working at starbucks. sounds cool. haha. and we got a voucher to redeem free drink ((: after that, me, yihfang and zhixin went to ben & jerry's to buy ice-cream. i also like! hehe. then rushed back to school for sexuality education. really lame and a waste of time. oh and i found out from a series of personality tests by yihfang that my waterfall flows at the rate of 10 (which is the fastest). that's supposed to describe my sexual drive. wtf lah. haha.

on wednesday, went to snow city. first time ever there. it was fun! haha. firstly, there was demonstrations of experiments with liquid nitrogen. then, we had abt an hour of free play at the chamber itself. it was damn cold. the temp was -6degrees but i'm surprised that i could actually tahan the coldness. usually, i cant even stand abit of cold. after free play, we had team building games. and i had to strip. haha. basically, in one of the games, i had to take off my jacket, gloves and one of my shoes and wait at the bottom of the slope for my team mates to slide down with my stuff. it was damn cold lahh. i could've gotton frostbite man. and apparently, when i was waiting for them, they shouted 'ttc loves you!'. haha. i wish he really does lah. LOL. after that, we had the visit to imh. nothing much to say. i guess it was a fruitful visit. learned quite abit of new things.

yesterday, i went to school for art of dressing lecture only. but it wasn't too bad. interesting actually. learnt what colours and what type of clothes suit me. but honestly, don't think i will really follow all the advice. haha. i'll just wear what i like :D

and today is good friday. no school! haha. went out with dear family today. went to vivo and bought myself a top from mango and a top and jacket from forever21. and i'm soooo loving it. hehe. retail therapy is the best! and i actually planned to finish all my homework today, all from march holidays, but guess what? i haven't even touched anything today. haha. no surprise there. lemme see. i have one more history essay left and a whole lot of reading to do. and lessons are starting next tues ):

enough said! ciao :DD


i will remember you, you will remember me
forever you will live in my memory.

Posted on: Sunday, March 16, 2008
Posted at: 12:36:00 pm
time for updates again. heh. here's a recap of what i did in the past week...

Tuesday (11032008)
i really can't remember what i did exactly. all i remember was sending my brother to the hospital for his checkup. other than that, i can't remeber a single thing. must have been one boring day man. haha.

Wednesday (12032008)
hmm. let me see. i know i rotted at home thru the whole morning and most of the afternoon. then had dance practice in school from 5pm to 7.30pm. yup that's about it. ooh. my life just gets more and more interesting eh? sense the sarcasm pple...

Thursday (13032008)
i remember waking up at 11+. i dont usually wake up so late ok. so i woke up all dizzy and groggy and i so wasnt in a good mood. haha. then, went out to meet shirin and huda at wdlands mrt at 2pm. met nina at ang mo kio afterwards. and off we were to the cathay to watch a movie. it was supposed to be a complete sn4 outing but arifah was down with fever so she couldnt make it. i was a tad disappointed actually. oh wells. there's always next month - hopefully. anyways, originally, we wanted to watch the leap years but timing was way off - thank god. haha. i didnt want to watch it honestly. the rest wanted to watch step up 2 but since i was going to watch it the next day, we ended up watching spiderwick chronicles. abit kiddy for me but not bad lah. there were some funny moments, some tense moments and some heartfelt moments. after the movie, went to plaza spura and ate at kfc. went home after that though it was only 6plus 'cause some of them had an early curfew. but nonetheless, had fun. i really missed them lahh..

Friday (14032008)
had dance in the morning. then, went home to change. and i was out again to meet fiqah and zimah at wdlands mrt. and and i saw one of my old eyecandies! haha. old as in he was my eyecandy since i was in pri6 i think. he lives in the same block as me and he's a year older. i was so happy when he took the same bus to interchange and sat right behind me! haha. the last time i saw him was somewhere last year i think. he still looks so good lah. haha. that really made my day.

and so i met zimah and fiqah at wdlands mrt. gosh i missed them sooo much. it feels like ages since i last saw them both. haha. anyways, we got off at ang mo kio where fiqah's bf picked us up and drove us to the cathay (yes, again. haha). and me and zimah kept singing in the car - badly. haha. anyway, we watched step up 2. and its a fucking nice movie. and robert hoffman is hot but not as hot as channing tatum! haha. my fave parts in the movie was definitely the final dance and the small part with channing tatum in it. haha. go and watch the movie. and though its really nice, if you ask me, i still prefer the first one a tad better. after that, we wanted to go to plaza spura. and from a 5mins walk, we ended up taking 15mins to get there 'cause we sort of got lost driving. ironic huh? haha. and so we ate at ljs and then went to times bookstore for zimah to redeem her voucher and she bought highlighters for me and fiqah. awww. how sweet. haha. went home after that. i remember being dead beat. but yeah, i had fun. cant wait for our next outing. hehe. i love my two crazy besties. haha.

Yesterday (15032008)
had dance at kallang pa as usual. then, met up with my family to eat, pick up my sister from camp and did abit of grocery shopping. told you my life's interesting. haha.

Today
i have no plans for today and i don't intend to. i shall be a good girl and finish up my homework. i have three history essays which i haven't even started on. urg. screw homework lah. but no worries. next week is enrichment week. there's still time :D

i'm so dreading school lah, even though there will be no lessons. i want to stay home and just rot my ass off. i want my one and a half months of break that i had after olevels again. boo. ): and im sorry for the awfully long and boring post. just like my life, i think im getting boring too. heh.


At this moment there are six billion,
five-hundred and two million,
eight hundred and sixty seven thousand
one hundred and twenty
people in the world-give or take a few.
And sometimes all you need is one.
For better or for worse.
- Chad Michael Murray as Lucas Scott
(One Tree Hill)

Posted on: Monday, March 10, 2008
Posted at: 8:06:00 pm
i guess it's time for updates. heh.

on saturday, i had dance practice for 4h straight. and the warm up was hell. plus there was no air-con. so we were all sweating like pigs lahh. after warm up, did traditional dance till 1pm and off i was to sjab hq.

i told nina, hanif and roza to wait for me at lavender mrt cuz they were late and i was only one stop away. but they forgot about me! ): so i had to walk all the way to hq all by myself. what if i was raped or kidnapped?!? haha. anyways, we just watched the NC team do footdrill and their first aid case study and a bunch of other schools before we got bored and tired and hungry and decided to go eat at beach road food centre. haha. after that, we returned to hq and slacked in the hall all the way till results time. then, shirin and fiqah came. results was pretty unexpected. the AC and NC team got first! so proud of them, they totally deserved it. AA got second, which is already very good. and NA got 5th. well, nothing much to say about that - really. overall, results were good. and watching the comp and meeting some of my squadmates did bring out a sense of nostalgia. after all, st john was quite a significant part of my life and although it wasn't always sweet, it was definitely memorable. (:

saturday aside, yesterday i finally bought my iPod touch!! im freaking happy man. and just for the record, i used my own money to buy it ok. not my parents. i'm not THAT spoilt. haha. ahh. i'm so in love with it lahh. ((:

today, had a one-day dance camp from 8am to abt 4pm. we had very very rigorous pt first thing in the morning. and i couldn't take it lah. i even puked. heh. i swear i've never been so tired during a dance practice. after pt, we did more stretching and practised our dance. then yada yada yada. we played games, which was quite crappy but a whole load of fun. haha. and we played captain's ball with FRUITS. super gross. there were tomatoes, bananas and potatoes but last time i checked, potatoes aren't fruits right? haha. anyways, it was gross cuz the fruits kept on getting smooshed into pieces and the juice was spilling everywhere. eww. but yeah, had fun. and after today, i think i'm really going to enjoy my stay in NJ malay dance what with the fun and whacky bunch of people in the group :D

and now, i'm dead beat. i'm putting in songs into my 8GB iPod. haha. and i'm having a bad case of the flu. boo. ):

the spaces between my fingers
are meant to be filled with yours.

Posted on: Monday, March 03, 2008
Posted at: 9:11:00 pm
i am so freaking happy today! i won't elaborate on it but my classmates should already know why. LOL. so i must thank YIHFANG and RAJA. and YITONG and YANHUI too for providing the more concrete memories. i owe you guys. :DD

and because we were talking about our life plans, i realise i don't have any. all i know is that i definitely want to go to university after completing alevels and get a degree in something, like psychology or what, and then get a stable career. teaching maybe? then, i'll find a guy to marry, preferably tall (at least 1.75m), handsome (or at least easy on the eyes) and if not rich, at least financially stable. and hopefully, when i get married, it'll be before the age of 26. and i want 3-4 children. so much for no life plans huh? haha. but seriously, i would rather go with the flow and just see where life takes me. i'm not the sort of person who worries to much of the future. i like to live my life day by day and enjoy life to the fullest. for all i know, tomorrow may never come and what i plan may all crumble into pieces and i'll be left disappointed. come what may, JUST DO IT. lol :D

and here's an exerpt that was shared by a friend of mine. it's damn meaningful and touching. and it teaches us not to be over-optimistic and all. so enjoy ((:

i could promise to hold you and to cherish you. i could promise to be there in sickness and in health. i could say till death do us part but i won't. those vows are for optimistic couples, the ones full of hope and i do not stand here on my wedding day optimistic or full of hope. i am not optimistic. i am not hopeful, i am sure i am steady and i know that i am a heart man. take them apart, put them together. i hold them in my hands. i am a heart man. so for this i am sure you are my partner. my love. my very best friend. my heart, MY heart beats for you. so on this day, on the day of our wedding, i promise you this. i promise you to lay my heart in the palm of your hands. i promise you me.

enough said. ciao! :D
on the outside, shying away,
on the inside, dying to say..

Posted on: Sunday, March 02, 2008
Posted at: 11:32:00 pm
ok. quick update of my quite-eventful weekend. :D

there wasn't any dance practice for us J1s yesterday cuz they were chereographing the contemp dance. obviously im happy lah. at least i get a break. haha. anyways, went to elson's house yesterday for class gathering. supposed to meet lizhu at toa payoh mrt but when i was ALREADY on the mrt, she called me and said she was taking the bus instead. >.< lizhu is so bad! she abandoned me and i don't even know how to get to cjc bus stop. but after getting directions from elson, i finally arrived - LATE - but at least not lost. haha. i was happy that most of us made it. besides me, there was lizhu, marian, kristy, nicholas, samantha, xiaoxi, pinxuan, yanhui and yihfang, raja, jiaqiang, zhixin and hocksing who came later. did i miss out anyone? so we ate pizza and got ripped off by pizza hut cuz the pizzas were so damn small but cost like a freaking $44. wtf lah. and we played yanhui's monopoly with which uses cashcard instead of cash itself. SO COOL. haha. basically, we just hung out lah and we got to showcase our BYE BYE BYE dance step. LOL. i had loads of fun even though i left early. it was really nice to see them all. cant wait for next outing! :DD

today, went to the airport to fetch my dad who just returned from vietnam. picked him up at terminal 3. my first time being there, and although i didn't really go in the terminal, it looked kind of abandoned. haha. so ulu. after that, went to eat and i tried to get my dad to buy me my iPod touch but to no avail. ): i have to wait for one more week. endure lissya, endure. LOL.

that's about it. i know, i know. it's not THAT interesting but my weekends thus far have been pretty dull. so this is as interesting as it gets lah. haha.

oh fuck. i just saw the time. i have to end here cuz i still have homework left undone. urg. i'm getting sick of school already. can i fastforward this week to the march holidays??


i won't lie & tell you i can't live without you
i can live without you
i just don't want to.