I've been doing some thinking. Ok imagine this scenario. You like this person ALOT and you're really happy being with him/her but things happen causing you to break up with this person. Even though you initiated the breakup, you feel devastated. After many many months of regretting and feeling miserable, you finally start to move on but just as you do so, this person comes up to you out of the blue and admits that he/she misses you and basically wants you back. So what would you do? Would you take him/her back?

Well even for me, I would take him back given the above scenario. It sounds like the perfect ending to some Hollywood movie doesn't it? But reality isn't that simple. I can't take him back no matter how much I wanted to. It really doesn't matter how much I loved him. Things just can't be the same. For one, he wasn't even sincere when he wanted to take me back. He didn't even break up with his gf for god's sake. And that hurt a lot, thinking that he has a 'backup plan' if getting back with me wasn't successful. Bastard lah. But putting that aside, I can't go back to that part of my life no matter how happy I was 'cos I promised that I wouldn't let myself fall for you again. Remember that you were my friend, my very good friend, first before you were my bf. And I want that back. I want the times when we were just friends. Things were much simpler then. We were happier and we didn't have to worry much. You were there when I needed you and I was there for you too. We lasted longer as friends than we ever did as more than just friends.

So the bottom line is that no matter how much I really love you, I can't go back and get hurt all over again. My heart really can't take it anymore. So for now, I can only love you as a friend and maybe, just maybe, in time, we'll end up being more than just friends again. Only time will tell. So let's start over from the very beginning and undo all the mistakes we made. Besides, she still needs you.

Enough said. And I'm not being emo or anything if that's what you're thinking. I'm just reflecting that's all (:

Oh and listen to 'Yesterday' by Leona Lewis. Fucking awesome song. And it's kind of the soundtrack of my life for now.