Posted on: Sunday, March 23, 2008
Posted at: 8:38:00 pm
Posted at: 8:38:00 pm
I FEEL LIKE CRAP.
as if that's gonna make me feel better. pfft. yeah right. at this point of time, i don't think anything or anyone can make me feel better. i feel so stupid. so utterly foolish. why? cuz i stupidly waited for you. for you to come back. but i just found out that that's never gonna happen. cuz you're back with her and you're happy. i thought it was over between the two of you. i thought we'd stand a chance again. boy, i thought wrong.
when i broke up with you last year, i didn't mean it. i didn't even try to let go. it was so hard for me to tell you that we needed time apart. i didn't want it. but you left me no choice. back then, you changed. and i can tell that your heart just wasn't into us anymore. you weren't into me anymore. and i know it was because of her. so, i let you go, thinking that you'd realise how much i need you. and you'd come back. and months later, i'm still waiting.
and now, i'm just growing sick of waiting. i'm sick of lying to myself. i'm sick of hoping and wishing. i'm sick of crying. i'm just so fucking sick of you. so, i'm going to let you go this time. i'm going to walk away. i'm going to open my heart to others. you don't own my heart anymore. and though i really believed in us, i don't think we're meant to be. you were my friend. my very best friend. i've known you for so long. and you're still my friend. and though we don't treat each other like the way we used to and though we've grown so far apart, i want to believe that you still care for me - as a friend. cuz if i can't have you as a lover, i want to have you as a friend. the friend that i once knew. the friend that i loved so dearly. and maybe just maybe, if you want to come back to me someday, you know i'll always be here for you. but for now, i'll just hang on to the memories.
as if that's gonna make me feel better. pfft. yeah right. at this point of time, i don't think anything or anyone can make me feel better. i feel so stupid. so utterly foolish. why? cuz i stupidly waited for you. for you to come back. but i just found out that that's never gonna happen. cuz you're back with her and you're happy. i thought it was over between the two of you. i thought we'd stand a chance again. boy, i thought wrong.
when i broke up with you last year, i didn't mean it. i didn't even try to let go. it was so hard for me to tell you that we needed time apart. i didn't want it. but you left me no choice. back then, you changed. and i can tell that your heart just wasn't into us anymore. you weren't into me anymore. and i know it was because of her. so, i let you go, thinking that you'd realise how much i need you. and you'd come back. and months later, i'm still waiting.
and now, i'm just growing sick of waiting. i'm sick of lying to myself. i'm sick of hoping and wishing. i'm sick of crying. i'm just so fucking sick of you. so, i'm going to let you go this time. i'm going to walk away. i'm going to open my heart to others. you don't own my heart anymore. and though i really believed in us, i don't think we're meant to be. you were my friend. my very best friend. i've known you for so long. and you're still my friend. and though we don't treat each other like the way we used to and though we've grown so far apart, i want to believe that you still care for me - as a friend. cuz if i can't have you as a lover, i want to have you as a friend. the friend that i once knew. the friend that i loved so dearly. and maybe just maybe, if you want to come back to me someday, you know i'll always be here for you. but for now, i'll just hang on to the memories.
if you're lucky,
i mean if you're the luckiest person on this entire planet,
the person you love decides to love you back.
- James Lafferty as Nathan Scott (OTH)